Bibi and Barry to settle "chickensh*t" controversy with duel using Glock pistols and other paraphernalia

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Friday, 31 October 2014

image for Bibi and Barry to settle "chickensh*t" controversy with duel using Glock pistols and other paraphernalia
Tank and F-35 fighter jet have been rumored as possible extensions for the contest

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and President Barack Obama have decided to settle recent differences, and the spat over Mr. Netanyahu being called "chickensh*t," at the firing range.

This contest is becoming known as "the grassy knoll" duel series.

The target will present the black silhouette of a head, facing forward, poised above a slight hill or knoll covered with grass, with this imagery "merely as an indication of a moment of historical importance," according to spokespersons for both leaders.

This language also refers to Mr. Netanyahu's response to the "chickensh*t" accusation emerging from a senior member of the Obama administration.

Mr. Netanyahu defended his various positions on Palestine and Iran and referred to "ceremonies on grassy knolls," implying the danger a leader gets himself into while behaving heroically in leading his nation.

The "grassy knoll" is of course a reference to the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

Hence to naming the duel series "the grassy knoll series," plus the nature of the venue. Resolution of the crisis will be determined by the highest score.

Winning will require an "act of contrition and heartfelt regret" from the loser, such as kneeling and reaching out a hand to the other to be kissed and forgiven.

Meanwhile, competing adjectives from both camps is stirring further interest in this forthcoming duelling event, to be held in neutral territory--probably Saudi Arabia.

Mr. Netanyahu has been blasted beyond "chickensh*t" with such vituperatives as obtuse, belligerent, obstreperous, bonehead, egomaniac, barbarian, and sh*thead.

Mr. Obama with vacillating, unclear, infantile, paranoid, stupid, weeniehead, and dipsh*t.

Meanwhile, handlers of both leaders are negotiating on weaponry to be used for the contest. So far this includes Glock pistol, hunting rifle, M4A1 assault rifle, and sniper rifle.

The possibility of extending the contest to the M60 Patton tank (which would require enlarging the target zone somewhat) is being considered.

Weapons manufacturers are reported seeking access to this duel for advertising purposes, as are major broadcast companies including FOX news, CNN, and CBS.

Some thought is being given to invite Vladimir Putin into the contest for further global interest and attention to this vital development in international relations and diplomacy.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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