BILLINGSGATE FLASH ALERT: Creating yet another racial firestorm, President Obama announced today the coronation of Ron Klain as Ebola czar. Bypassing black supernumeraries, such as Jesse Jackson and His Holiness, Al Sharpton, this appointment has ruffled feathers of the black community from here to Liberia.
"What the ....!" exclaimed Al Sharpton. We can't even have our own deadly disease without bringing in some honkie to tell us what to do."
Klain, who will report to White House Special Adviser, Susan Rice, is said to have caddied for the president on two golf outings; one right after the Benghasi Incident, the other after a beheading. Known for his strict anal personality, he was extremely tactful when describing one of Obama's shanks as, "a lateral hit to shake up his dozing Secret Service agents."
Mr. Klain, who does not have a health care background, will be tasked with protecting Americans from the disease by obfuscating any Ebola information that prove harmful to the reputation of the president and the Democratic Party.
