It was meant to be so simple. So easy. So hassle free. But sex often complicates the simplest of human encounters.
Robert Duffy had been going through a bit of a dry spell when he met Melissa Torne in a nightclub Friday night. After 9 months without sex, Robert was beginning to lose hope.
"It had been 9 months since my last, ahem, encounter. I admit I got a bit desperate with this last one".
After a few drinks, Robert and Melissa decided to shack up at his place where they engaged in what Melissa described as 'the most intimate, passionate love making session one could imagine". Robert merely described it as a "tragic and shameful attempt to end this wretched chastity."
Surprises followed the morning after, as Melissa decided to completely move in with Robert. Boxes had arrived at the house and she had already replaced Robert's standard white shower curtain with a more feminine pink one. Robert was not amused:
"She just took over, like an army invasion. Suddenly I don't even recognise my own house".
Melissa is already planning their new life together, and says she plans to stay there indefinitely:
"What we have is special. I've never felt this way about somebody, and I know he feels the same way, otherwise why would he bring me home like that. He's the one I've been waiting for".
The Spoof wishes Robert and Melissa all the best, and has already purchased the exclusive rights to photograph the wedding, which Melissa has planned for next week.