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Funny satire stories about Binge Drinking

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Funny story: Man On Bender Was A Total Disgrace

Man On Bender Was A Total Disgrace

The reputation of a man who went to his local pub 'for a quiet drink' last Saturday night, but then changed his agenda halfway through the evening, is in tatters, after a series of unplanned escapades. Reputable Lawrence Jackson, 38, ordered a pin...

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Funny story: Binge drinking UK females are smoking themselves to death!

Binge drinking UK females are smoking themselves to death!

Compared to other European countries Brit binge-drinking, heavy smoking females on unhealthy diets, are dying earlier than European females doing the same! Why? Although Spanish, Greek, Italian, etc, females love a booze up, smoke like chimney pot...

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Funny story: New Zealand - Sex Three Times A Day To Be Made Compulsory

New Zealand - Sex Three Times A Day To Be Made Compulsory

The Hedonist lobby in the New Zealand parliament has gained overall control of the Government with a majority of 69. Recent statistics show that New Zealand's favourite alcopop, "Binge" is going out of fashion with a possible correlation with a reduc...

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Funny story: Binge Drinking Now Recommended By Government

Binge Drinking Now Recommended By Government

The government's commissioned report into the possible beneficial effects of weekend " Binge" drinking suggests massive benefits to the NHS and Police Forces. The new vitamin drink, "Binge" is a healthy drink made from 5 a day vegetables and fruit...

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Funny story: Where are our shouting "Nutjobs"

Where are our shouting "Nutjobs"

Once a part of every city street, but now only found in cultured cities like Glasgow, shouting "head cases" are disappearing from our parks and shopping centres. Dirty, often threatening and intoxicated, these charming "fruitcakes" are becoming a r...

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Funny story: Little Divot Man Accuses Local Casino Of Cheating

Little Divot Man Accuses Local Casino Of Cheating

Following a night of copious drinking, excessive cigarette smoking and reckless gambling with his wife's gin money, Little Divot man Clive Peddle has issued a stark warning to anyone else contemplating doing the same. Mr Peddle told us, "After all...

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Funny story: End of the Stretched Limo on British Streets

End of the Stretched Limo on British Streets

There is to be a major overhaul of limos and other stretched vehicles bringing an end to the presence of these luxuries to British streets. All limos are to be shipped back to USA. Parliament voted unanimously to return these vehicles to the Stat...

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Funny story: Britain to lose its binge drinking capital of Europe badge

Britain to lose its binge drinking capital of Europe badge

Germany is threatening to take the Number Binge Drinkers spot from Britain. Latest survey results show that Germany now has more alcoholics per population than Britain. "This is down to two factors," said Hans Shakin, German Alcohol Minister. "Fir...

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Funny story: Places with more offies than school-places in shock link to underage drinking

Places with more offies than school-places in shock link to underage drinking

Post-codes where there are vastly more off-licence premises than there are available school places have been linked to the number of underage drinkers admitted to hospital for alcohol-related problems, a study suggests. The research for campaign...

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Funny story: Watered down measures at cheap alcohol - Government feared more student riots

Watered down measures at cheap alcohol - Government feared more student riots

Taking a few minutes to speak to the press outside 10 Downing Street this morning before heading off to Parliament, Prime Minister David Cameron stopped to provide a short explanation for why the coalition government had decided to only impleme...

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Funny story: Rhode Island Regional Airport Forced to Close After 'Patches' Kennedy Goes on Binge & Drinks all Deicer!

Rhode Island Regional Airport Forced to Close After 'Patches' Kennedy Goes on Binge & Drinks all Deicer!

As if 18 " of snow wasn't enough to cause holiday havoc on the road in the northeast after a record snowfall over Christmas, the Rhode Island airport was forced to close even though plows had kept the runways clear after all the deicer went missing!...

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Funny story: Binge Drinking is Affecting Obama Presidency!

Binge Drinking is Affecting Obama Presidency!

Michelle Obama is said to be considering a forced rehab stint for Barry as his recent physical at Walter Reid Army Hospital has confirmed her worse fears; the Closet Muslim is a Closet Alcoholic! According to close advisors, Michelle is close to h...

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Funny story: Drunk Justice: ASBOs, springs and Safaris in London

Drunk Justice: ASBOs, springs and Safaris in London

Frank Miller investigates past and present Police methods of tackling the increase of drunken behaviour on the streets of the UK. Another ASBO You may have heard about the Drunken ASBO launched this week, but this isn't the whole story. In a less publicised initiative, the streets of Newport in Wales have become the arena for a new pilot scheme which about to begin its six month trial.

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Funny story: Relief for Brit binging bitches, Spanish scientists declare, "boozing beer is good for female bones"!

Relief for Brit binging bitches, Spanish scientists declare, "boozing beer is good for female bones"!

UK Saturday night female binge drinkers have been given a monster boost to their habits from a most unusual source, Spanish scientists! After intensive testing on old alcoholic "Biddies" in Spain the scientists discovered that ageing "Alco Senorit...

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Funny story: Binge drinkers in for a gong

Binge drinkers in for a gong

Doctors have announced today ''Binge drinking is good for you'' ending years of debate in an instant. The study commissioned by leading beverage peddlar,interbrewed, found that huge amounts of alcohol consumed in a short period actually helps young...

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Funny story: Steven Gerrard releases statement after Nightclub Brawl.

Steven Gerrard releases statement after Nightclub Brawl.

The cause of the bar room brawl, which saw Liverpool star Steven Gerrard and 4 associates arrested and held in custody, has been revealed. Alledgedly a 'Daphne & Celeste' song was requested for the Liverpool star.. The DJ's announcement 'i kno...

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Funny story: Binge drinking encouraged to beat recession

Binge drinking encouraged to beat recession

Gordon Brown has called for pubs and clubs to stay open 24/7 to help the UK spend its way out of recession. Speaking at the Mop and Bucket pub in Wimslow Cheshire he said "People drinking more alcohol will have a knock on effect in lots of ways, m...

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