Wall Street Kernel - Due to computer failure, navigator confusion, pilot error or a just plain glitch in the cosmos with millions and millions of stars, the President's plane, Air Force One, landed in North Korea by mistake. The airport tower heralded a happy welcome and the plane drifted down gracefully from the clouds, with a bump free landing, smack in the middle of the axis of evil.
Believing they landed in Vietnam, those aboard waited for the red carpeted stairs to roll to the door, observing instead that they were being surrounded by goose stepping military, marching three abreast and holding rifles with bayonets. Tanks followed. "That ain't Kansas."
A quickie telephone call from Air Force One to Vice President Dick Cheney asked that Cheney meet any demands made by North Korea. Smoking a Cuban cigar, Cheney reminded the President of U.S. policy: We never negotiate with kidnappers or terrorists; "You're on your own, kid."
A white knuckle flyer who never sets foot on an airplane and travels long distances only by train, Kim Jong-il said he wasn't interested in Bush or his party. They could fly home Air Canada, but he wanted to keep Air Force One. The plane had to be the safest one in the world, announcing he would change the plane's name to North Korea One.
"That means we'll have to fly commercial airlines out of North Korea to Canada; sit next to strangers, change planes in Ontario; Laura has about two trunk loads of clothes and makeup; it'll cost a chunk of cash for excess baggage. Get off the plane at Reagan National Airport in D.C. like regular folks, then helicopter to the White House, and fire Dick Cheney."
Air Force One stepped into the fray, taking command of the situation. The following ten minute flight test with Kim Jong-il aboard lasted only four minutes and fifteen seconds. After three loop the loops and a Baghdad nose dive landing, followed by dusting the tarmac and zooming straight up to the sky, Kim Jong-il was clamoring at the door, demanding to be let out.
Matching the color of his military greens, Jong-il scrambled off the plane, kissing the ground, vowing never to set foot on another plane again, ordering Bush and his party to leave North Korea airspace in ten minutes and take that no good, satanic driven plane with them.
Change my name to North Korea One? I can do more than just supply warm roasted nuts.
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