US Vetoes UN Security Resolution Condemning Israeli Killing

Funny story written by Felix Minderbinder

Sunday, 12 November 2006

UNITED NATIONS (AP)-- The United States vetoed yet another UN Security Council resolution on Saturday that condemned the ongoing slaughter of Palestinians in the Gaza Strip by the Israeli military and demanded Israeli troops pull out of the territory.

US Ambassador to the UN John Bolton said the Arab-backed resolution was "honest and accurate but my Zionist Occupied US Government just doesn't have the nuts to criticize Israel."

"Oh dear, oh dear...That resolution was evenhanded but I've been ordered by Tel Aviv and New York to veto it," he told the Security Council, sniffling. "After all, the US has vetoed hundreds of similar resolutions over the years."

The draft received 10 votes in favor along with the US vote against. Britain, Denmark, Japan and Slovakia all abstained. The US is one of five permanent members of the council and has the power to veto resolutions.

It was the second US veto this year of a Security Council draft resolution concerning Israeli military killings.

The Palestinian government was understandably angry at the US veto.

"This decision by the US government gives unlimited cover to commit more massacres of innocent Palestinians," spokesman Ghazi Hamadhamadhamad said.

Further criticism came in from Arab League Secretary-General Amr Moussaka who said the veto "will only increase the anger" toward Israel while Egyptian Foreign Minister Ahmed Aboul Gheitman accused the Security Council of "turning a blind eye to on-going criminal Israeli acts in Gaza."

In the UN General Assembly, the Israeli massacre was called "state terrorism" while the perpetrators should be held accountable under international law for war crimes.

Bolton noted that Palestinians and other Arabs were "understandably irate at Israel since the state was founded on the theft of Palestinian land."

"In fact," he noted, "the creation of Israel was one of the greatest land thefts in history. I mean, how would you like it if a pack of foreigners stole your land, and then forced you and millions of your people into refugee camps, or forced you to flee into other countries? I bet you would be angry too."

Bolton went on to urge Israel "to give all of its stolen land back to the dispossessed Palestinians, to end Israel's illegal military occupation of Palestinian land, and to give billions of dollars in reparations to the Palestinians to compensate them for their losses, their grief, and their suffering."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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