London - (ReUterus): That catchy company slogan 'Try something new today' echoed whistfully in his ears this morning as UK Science Minister and top Labour Party sperm donor Lord Sainsbury was booted out of office following the Met Police's loan corruption probe which advised the life peer to 'try a P45' instead.
The supermarket supremo is believed to have been caught selling peerages at his eponymous food retailing check-outs in special election-year "buy-one-get-one-free" promotions that saw the number of New Labour life peers treble.
The news was met with dismay at No 10 Downing Street and sent jitters into the hallowed inner circle of Prime Monster Tony Blair's wannabe life peers, including leading curry chief Sir Gulag Doom and dodgy rag-and-bone trade man Richard Caring, the witless self-publicist and fantasy-owner of Camden Lock flea market in North London.
The Met's anti-corruption team is also understood to be probing rumors that under Lord Sainsbury's scheme, Labour lenders may have been given massive 'Nectar' points to spend at the supermarket chain whose share values suddenly rocketed to unprecedented heights in 2005 despite being notorious in the food retailing industry for scraping the bottom of the ubiquitous barrel in terms of desirability of their products.
In January this year, one disgruntled 'Guardian' reader wrote to his newspaper letters' editor that having shopped at the Kilburn High Road branch of Sainsbury's in North London, he felt that the experience came off as even more horrible than a previous trip to a 'shambolic grocery outlet' in down-town Baghdad during the initial days of the Iraqi invasion.
More news expected at the weekend.
