Obama Saves America!

Funny story written by Auntie Matter

Saturday, 16 November 2013

image for Obama Saves America!
Nationwide Celebrations on Announcement.

In an amazing move that some regard as a "bloodless revolution" Congress yesterday, under the direction of President Barack Obama, has voted in legislation that will completely revolutionize the governance and economy of the United States. In a nationwide television broadcast last night shown simultaneously in every television in the country the President made the following announcement.

"Fellow Americans, the time has come when we must bring moral and spiritual values to bear on the welfare of our people. For too long we have let the mindset of jungle-man govern our affairs and drag us from one war to another in his relentless greed and manic obsession with power; bringing death, pillage and destruction to our own people and the innocent of other countries. Consequently, after extensive analyses at every conceivable level, we have decided to cap the possible wealth of any one individual at $30 million. It is our findings that any person with that amount of wealth, in whatever form it may take, has more than enough to live comfortably on for the rest of his or her life. Government will now proceed to nationalize all wealth of individuals who have more than that. That will aslo include of course the means of production of that wealth. The resulting assets accruing to this country will provide free education at all levels and free medicare, at all levels, for our people. For too long we have pretended to set an example of peace and democracy to other countries while ruthlessly and hypocritically promoting their opposites. We have done this in obedience to the greed of elite groups, war mongerers, secret societies and tools of Satan. We can no longer tolerate this state of affairs. We hope to establish here in the United States a true democracy where government is there to help the people not exploit them, to raise them up, not drown them in poverty and insanity, to bring hope and higher consciousness, not despair and exploitative confusion. The spiritual crisis we have reached is a spiritual one, make no mistake. We must choose now to die in the flesh and be reborn in the spirit or to die in the spirit as we have been doing until now, to be reborn in the flesh of that mockery of our destiny we have dubbed "the American Dream". We will have a nation that is healthy inside and out. And we will, at last, become the light we were always meant to be and which our founding forefathers dreamt of as our world destiny. All means of production will shortly be nationalized, all excessive wealth confiscated above $30 million; the poor shall be fed and the neglected given hope and health for their futures and those of their children. America will be returned to the American people and humanity returned to the world. We will have the best of Christian socialism, that has never really been tried, with the best of capitalism that has been so badly and viciously abused. No man, woman or child will be prevented from being relatively wealthy but the "filthy rich", the "mega rich" and the "billionaire" will henceforth be an impossibility, for the good of us all. The incentive to get ahead for each will still be there, enshrined in our constitution as always, but legalized, rampant, murderous greed protected by spurious laws beyond all reason, will not! I give you my word. Anyone who believes he has a right to more than he needs for the rest of his life... anyone who wants, or demands, more than $30 million for himself which is actually more than he requires, will be referred for psychiatric examination, as will anyone who has a problem with a compassionate, welfare state devoted to the care and well-being of his fellow man. So help us God."

Since the announcement, several private armies hastily got up by oil magnates and armaments manufacturers in Detroit, Baltimore and Washington have been immobilized by the home guard and the insurgents arrested. For the most part, the changes have been applauded by over 90% of the population and there have been wide-spread celebrations in just about every poor quarter in every city and town in the US.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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