In a rare act of political unity from the land that brought the world Caligula, Benito Mussolini, and the single most influential cultural factor behind "Jersey Shore", the government of Italy has reaffirmed its stance that all whores in attendance at government orgies must be 18 years or older.
"Let's face it," stated a formal court document entering the ruling into the highest levels of Italian appellate law. "Italians will accept a lot from our leaders. You can appoint a horse to the Senate. You can sign on with Adolf Hitler. You can misappropriate staggering amounts of wealth from the people during a time of critical global fiscal crisis, destroying untold lives. What you can NOT do is have Moroccan jailbait walking around at an orgy funded by the Italian people. Those orgies are for conducting government business, and children have no place there, whether dressed as nurses or not."
Civil rights activists in Rome are already preparing an appeal to The World Court at The Hague, under the complex yet completely uncompelling "But She Said She Was 24" defense, pioneered by great British jurist Judge Charles Chaplin.
