London - "This is the Brits' equivalent of the General Petraeus-Paula Broadwell scandal alright," a Pentagon cryptographer said today as the lurid details broke.
"Both UK protagonists are well known to US military intelligence, we regularly sweep our Special Relationship pals for cover-ups of scams impacting on the USA."
The comments see Downing Street rocked by revelations of a decades-long sordid fling that threatens to eclipse the 1963 Profumo Affair which ruined the career of the UK Secretary of State for War and brought down the Government.
It means Brit tabloids have been gagged from naming names to protect the guilty and throw the scent off course from the obvious suspects.
However a deep throat-kinda source located close to a Palace of Westmonster potting shed has revealed all to QM-NewsCorpse reporters this weekend.
The allegations reckon a 'society hostess' [Britcop-speak for IRA ho] married to an Establishment big gun got caught passing on military secrets to a terror cell in the pay of Iran.
Her erstwhile lover has been described by an adoring GOP fan base as a regular guy with an impeccable record of strutting his stuff.
And an enviable stash of overflowing bank accounts.
Speaking off-the-record to chums today Brit PM David Cameron was seen wearing his 'see no evil, hear no evil' hat amid mounting media reports that exposure of the scandal 'could make him into laughing stock Prime Monster'.
"WTF's all this garbage?" Cameron was heard hissing at a No 10 aide.
Meanwhile deep in the bowels of the House of Lords Shooting Gallery a cuckolded fatcat is polishing up his potting skills in anticipation of a very tricky week ahead.
The Marchioness of Pratts Bottom will be 69 later this week.
