US Government Might Turn Over Air Traffic Control to Bird Watchers

Funny story written by Ducksley

Tuesday, 26 February 2013

image for US Government Might Turn Over Air Traffic Control to Bird Watchers

If the mandatory budget cuts known as sequestration go into effect in a few days, the Federal Aviation Administration says it will have no choice but to turn over air traffic control services to bird watchers.

"I think it'll work out great," said FAA spokesman Huckleberry Wunch, who added, "They're already used to standing for long periods of time looking through binoculars, and that's pretty much all they have to do."

Mildred Chigrigger, 72, is a longtime bird watcher who is hoping to snare one of the air traffic control jobs.

"I've got a couple of cataracts, but I can still tell the difference between a mud-slapping hornbill and a red-crested metalpecker from 300 yards, so figuring out whether a plane is a 767 or an Airbus shouldn't be all that difficult," she said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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