A Couple of Dog Gone Hunting Stories

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 26 November 2012

image for A Couple of Dog Gone Hunting Stories
Mr. Settingset explaining to his neighbor where he was when his own dog shot him.

BURNT CORN, Alabama - A few weeks ago Hampton "Bubba" Settingset, 59, was bird hunting with his bird dog Larry on a 40 acre patch of land on his Burnt Corn farm.

After about two hours of walking around Settingset decided to take a little break. He carefully laid his rifle up against a tree.

Larry, suddenly saw a flock of birds appear in the autumn sky and he started barking and jumping up and down tremendously excited as bird dogs tend to do when they see birds.

In his excitement Larry accidentally knocked over the rifle. It went off and a bullet struck Settingset in his left shin bone. He let out a scream that had to have hit at least 130 decibels.

Larry instantly scampered off into the deep woods like a scalded dog (no pun intended).

Three days ago, a bird hunter, identified as Rucklehaus Digglestick, 57, was hunting birds on his grandfather's farm up in Spunkypuddle, Ohio.

Digglestick, who says he's had a bit of a bladder problem for going on two weeks now, set down his rifle against a tree while he took care of some #1 business.

A bit of a breeze kicked up scaring his dog Rover IV, and he let out a yelp as he started running around the camp.

Digglestick saw was was happening and he immediately finished his business and was in the process of zipping up his coverall's zipper when Rover IV, bumped into the rifle.

And KA-BOOM! it went off with a bullet striking Digglestick on his left ear lobe.

He immediately called up his wife Cora Belle, who drove out to his campsite with some cotton balls, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, a bottle of Wild Turkey, and some Band-Aids.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Two things are clear here. Either hunters like Mr. Settingset and Mr. Digglestick are getting a little lax with their safety, or bird dogs are becoming more nervous when they're out hunting with their masters. But one thing that can be said for certain is that it's a damn good thing that bird dogs aren't allowed to own guns.]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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