The Australian government and Australians generally have had their "gutful" (not my comment) of people illegally attempting to enter their sparsely populated country via the Christmas Islands and have decided to build off-shore asylum homes on the other side of the world; in Guernsey!
The UK government will assist Australia in dealing with its asylum problem because they still have a bad conscience about the way they treated British convicts and Aborigines in Australia and also feel very dispondent about Australia's disasterous performances at the Olympics; especially swimming.
The plan is to fly hundreds of young asylum seekers to the French coast and force them to swim for their lives to Guernsey and if any of the asylum seekers make it they will be allowed into Australia to train to become Olympic swimmers after recovering, tax-free, in Guernsey!
The plan is to produce a swimming team capable of beating the rest of the world by 2016. The British have decided to invest in their ex-colonies attempt to "kill two kangaroos with one stone"; stopping illegal immigrants entering and producing world beaters in the swimming pool; makes sound economic sense down-under style!
