News International 'hacked into' 9/11 corpses

Funny story written by raouldukecommando

Saturday, 16 July 2011


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The Twin Towers as they looked before 9/11

The FBI has revealed that, in the weeks after the 9/11 attacks in the US, employees of News International dug up the graves of victims and 'hacked' into them, removal vital organs, bones and even brains in an effort to find more information.

Agent Brian Yuzna-Society of the FBI suggested that private investigators were trying to establish what happened in the moments during and after the planes hit the Twin Towers. 'These hackers seemed to be using the brains as a primitive black box recorder.' The hearts, he commented, could store emotions for up to 5 hours after death, or something like that.

This only adds to the controversy surrounding the conduct of News International when it was revealed that the bodies of 7/7 victims, soldiers and Milly Dowler were all ransacked for vital clues. It is alleged that Glenn Mulcaire laid out all the information he had gathered on the floor of his North London flat and masturbated over it, smiling.

The Murdochs have declined to comment on the matter but have taken full-page adverts out in the press stating that they are evil and should be hunted down and butchered like pigs.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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