Rebekah Brooks is a 'can't'

Funny story written by raouldukecommando

Saturday, 16 July 2011


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Having declined to appear in from of the Department of Culture, Media and Sport's select committee next week, Rebekah Brooks has revealed herself to be a 'can't'.

Despite the fact that both Rupert and James Murdoch have agreed to attend, Brooks has decided against the move.

"I am glad that the Murdochs have responded to the call to appear with a firm 'can'," she said, "but, having looked at my behaviour, morals and integrity, I have decided that I am unable to attend and am, without doubt, a complete 'can't'".

This is not the first time that Brooks has been a 'can't'. Throughout her tenure as editor of the News of the World, her refusal to do anything about the hacking of celebrity's phones showed her to be an absolute 'can't'. And in hitting her then boyfriend Ross Kemp during an argument, she proved herself to be a total 'can't'.

Rupert Murdoch, on the other hand, is more often or not referred to as simply a 'cunt'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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