Written by Morse

Monday, 11 July 2011

image for US Holds $800m in Pakistani Military Aid; 25,000 NY Cab Drivers Bring City to Standstill in Protest!
Scene on 42nd and Broadway as Pakistani Cab Drivers Strike over US Policy!

In a massive retaliation to the US government withholding $800m in military aid to Pakistan, NYC cabdrivers staged a noon day walkout leaving the city snarled in a massive traffic jam. The increased traffic threatened to shut down Wall Street and caused billions in lost revenue.

Shelf stockers and cashiers at over 35,000 bodegas, convenience stores, motels and gas stations are also took part in a walk out, causing a rolling shut down along I-95 as far as
Miami. Lines of cars were left abandoned alongside the nation's interstate, and summer travelers were reduced to rooting around curbs looking for half smoked Marlboros and stale french fries as lunch time came and went.

The US has supplied over $3b a year to prop up the Pakistani government in its efforts to fight the Taliban and search for Osama bin Laden. It has now had enough of the Pakistani military and security forces paying lip service to the 'war on terror' and decided, belatedly to hold back on the monthly extortion payment.

Said former CIA black ops Agent Erik "Snuffy" Petersen: "We could never count on them
guys to deliver anything, no matter how much we paid them. We'd get ready to raid a bomb factory, and by the time we got there they were gone. Trying to find Bin Laden was tougher than finding Whitey Bulger, if it wasn't for that informant in Iceland, the two of them would still be on the loose!"

US government officials have urged citizens to remain calm in the midst of the turmoil.

White House spokesman Jay Blarney (sic) said, "It'll be over soon! This is just a moment of solidarity, remember, if these people stay out of work too long they don't get paid, which will further reduce payments to their home country...remember, they send at least 25% of their wages back home to support Pakistani Democracy , Tolerance, Education, and Health Care...a prolonged strike would only blow up in their face!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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