Labrador with a human face, Boris Johnson has rejected calls for corruption charges to be bought against him.
'Gosh, crikey, phwoar, what will David say?' said the outspoken Blonde when faced with questions regarding the choice of breakfast cereal in his house.
He normally has Ready Brek, but has recently been seen eating Corn Flakes, and enemies have been quick to ask if he has been handed money by Kellogs to eat their brand.
A spokesman from Kellog's said 'This is ridiculous. If we needed to pay celebrity we would chose bigger names than Boris Johnson. It is Wimbledon, Ryan Giggs is looking for a new gig, we could have given money to any number of sports stars and had a far better return on our investment'. David Cameron was heard to say 'Boris? Boris who? Nick, have you got my tea yet? Milk and two sugars'.