New embarrassment for ATF

Funny story written by El Capitaz

Saturday, 9 July 2011

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Whose finger is on the trigger?

Washington DC - New revelations drawing fresh criticism of the Federal Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco Firearms and Explosives are emerging in the wake of the "Fast and  Furious" AKA "Operation Gunrunner" saga. 

As we have learned, Operation Gunrunner was the ill-conceived and executed plot to allow Mexican drug cartel thugs to purchase weapons in the United States, and then allow them to smuggle the weapons into Mexico. Indications are that those same weapons have been linked to horrific crimes on both sides of the boarder. 

The whistle-blower agent who courageously reported the crazy scheme was rewarded by being fired. So called 'stimulus funds' may have been used, and some speculate that responsibility for the operation may go as high as Attorney General Holder or even President Obama.  

Now, it seems that Operation Gunrunner was not the only bizarre ATF operation. Our confidential sources are reporting at least two other "sister operations" using the same basic strategy. 

"Operation Boom-Boom was an effort to identify potential future 'lone-wolf' terrorists" Says our inside source. "ATF explosives experts went to junior high and elementary schools, and gave demonstration on how to construct pipe-bombs. Agents took notes on any student who seemed to show an interest. Those students were placed on watch-lists."

There was at least one other curious program using those tactics, our source continued. 

"Then there was 'Operation Moonshine'; continuing their long tradition of targeting the rural folk, agents went to county fairs in West Virginia, Tennessee, Missouri, and other states. They rented booths in the exhibit halls where they posed as wholesale distributors of illegal whiskey distillation equipment.  They offered a free raffle ticket, with a mule as the prize, for anyone who would  sign up to view a demonstration on how to distill moonshine. Anyone who accepted a raffle ticket was scheduled to be visited by a search and seizure team."
 
It seems that in their zeal to authentically represent distillery equipment wholesalers, agents actually did sell a lot of equipment at discount prices. Production of illegal liquor is said to have risen dramatically as a result. But since the plans' emphasis was on the raffle tickets, they neglected to keep records of who made the purchases. 

"Also, a few of the agents took a shine to the home-made whiskey, so to speak. They just got drunk and forgot to even keep track of the raffle ticket portion of the plan." Internal reports admit that Operation Moonshine produced  questionable results. But they are still defending Operation Boom-Boom.

"Even if those kids who seemed to pay attention to the pipe-bomb making lessons don't turn out to be terrorist, getting them on a watch list may produce other nuggets of intelligence" they claim.  

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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