Fox hunting To Be Banned Again

Funny story written by churchmouse

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

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Put the bazooka away, I'm a dog, honest!

The government announced yesterday that it is to completely ban fox hunting for a six month period from next month in order to preserve the species.

Many people are currently under the illusion that the hunting of foxes is already outlawed within the UK, but the legislation that was brought in by the previous government contained a number of loop-holes that have been exploited by a sizeable percentage of the population. For although it is illegal to kill a fox by allowing it to be ripped apart by hounds, it is still possible to despatch a fox by shooting, once it is at bay.

It is also allowed within the law to kill foxes by poisoning, mechanical trapping, electrocution, drowning, stabbing, beating to death with a blunt instrument, throwing from a tall building, hanging, garotting, manual strangulation, guillotining, starvation, lethal injection, assisted suicide, and indirect artillery fire. As a result the fox population has now dwindled to its lowest ever recorded number.

Not everyone however, agrees with the ban.

Wayne Fub, a member of the Urban Alliance, had this to say:

"It's disgraceful! This government is trying to do away with our heritage. It's traditional for an Englishman to come home from the pub on a Saturday night and wait for one of the local foxes to start rummaging around in the wheelie bin before turning the flame-thrower on to it. My kids are devastated by the ban. How can you explain to a five year old that he can no longer fire a harpoon from his back bedroom window. These toffs at Westminster, with their houses in the country, and their dogs and horses don't have to put up with foxes crapping on the pavement and pulling the rubbish out of the bins at KFC. They'll be banning incest next"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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