Swedish army introduces firearms ban

Written by MonkeyInTheBath

Saturday, 18 June 2011

image for Swedish army introduces firearms ban
A large Swedish weapon, ready to blow...

The Swedish army is perhaps best known for its flamboyant displays during the Stockholm gay parade, but even non-homophobic NATO allies will be raising their eyebrows at the Scandinavians' latest military antics.

Sweden has become the first country in history to introduce a firearms ban on serving military personnel. This means that their soldiers posted in Afghanistan will not be allowed to carry a weapon - all fourteen of them. The logic behind the decision is that the weapons are dangerous and could be used to kill.

Chief of the Swedish Army Per Abbasson explained further. "Ja, our böys in armed conflicts around the world are putting their pretty little ärses in danger and we don't want them to härm themselves any more than is necessary. I remember when I was a young cadet, I was always breaking my nails trying to handle my översized bayonet."

Anti-gun campaigners are attempting to get other countries to follow the Swedish example, but with little success. The US Secretary of Defense said, "We don't care much for these weak liberal European attitudes."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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