Governor Jan Brewer Is Blaming The Arizona Wildfires On Space Aliens

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

image for Governor Jan Brewer Is Blaming The Arizona Wildfires On Space Aliens
If the wildfires in Arizona are not contained soon there will be no cactus left anywhere in the state.

PHOENIX - The governor of Arizona was asked by the news media if she as governor is doing everything within her power to try and contain the massive wildfires that have already destroyed over 250,000 acres of land.

The governor, who lately has been in a horrible mood, replied that she is doing all that she can possibly do. She has 1,300 firefighters fighting the blaze along with dozens of air equipment, and the thickest water hoses in the state.

GOPicky Magazine's Amos Soursuckle asked her why it appears that she is not really making any progress. Brewer exploded at the question.

Right away she yelled at Mr. Soursuckle and told him in front of the assembled news media that she was shocked that he a fellow Republican would ask her such an embarrassing question.

Just then Ashburn Wasabi of The Right Coast Illustrated Revue hollered out "Okay governor then let me, a Democrat ask the same damn question!"

Soursuckle turned and thanked Wasabi who asked Brewer the same exact question that she had just been asked.

The governor's face was now as red as Rihanna's hair. She shook her head, rolled her eyes, and muttered something under her breath that one of the reporters sitting in the front row said sounded like she had said Wasabi you're a just a Big Apple (New York City) smart ass.

Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight then yelled out for the governor to answer the question or was she waiting for Sarah "Crosshairs" Palin to answer it for her.

Governor Brewer took a drink from her 36-ounce Styrofoam cup and replied that the reason she is not making any progress in fighting the friggin wildfires is because since they were started by space aliens it is very difficult to figure out exactly what kind of extra-terrestrial substance was initially used in the lighting of these fires.

The entire assembled news media, including Mr. Soursuckle started booing. The boos got so loud that they actually knocked Brewer's drinking cup right off of the podium.

Maricopa Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arapaio, who is one of Brewers few true friends then stood up on a folding chair and yelled out to all of the reporters that the meeting was over and instructed everyone to disperse in a quick orderly manner.

He remarked that if the room was not cleared within five minutes that he would personally take his pink taser gun and start tasering the hell out of any stragglers.

Reports are that President Obama, who hates Governor Brewer and vice versa was asked about her predicament.

The president reportedly shook his head, took a sip of his Diet Dr. Pepper, and remarked, "Well lemmy just say dis. I would strongly suggest ta Guvna Brewski dat she hire herself about half a dozen of dem Navajo rain dancers and den let dem dance their asses off like dey was competing on the championship finale of Dancing Wiff Da Stars."

One of the newest residents of Arizona, Sarah "Snowflake" Palin was asked what she would do about the wildfire problem. She smiled, thought for a second, and them replied that she would hope that a hurricane would hit so that it would turn the wildfires off.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Wow!...simply amazing! There really aren't a whole heck of a lot of things that scare me, but the Alaskan "Polar Princess" is really and truly one of 'em that does!]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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