Washington DC: President Obama was informed today that there was a crashed space capsule on the lawn of the White House. Federal officials cannot explain how this object went completely undetected by NORAD until landing and being found by the first dog Bo during his morning walk.
The small capsule was removed from Michelle's garden and subsequently taken to an undisclosed NASA facility. The unit was completely examined revealing a recording device containing a message, which was translated and its contents then summarized for the president.
The message was from Klaatu, who last visited planet earth in 1951 (60 years ago) during another Democratic presidential administration. Earth's inhabitants had heeded a given warning about not using nuclear weapons or be destroyed by a powerful planetary federation. Since then the world's countries have minimized the nuclear threat, entered space exploration and USA astronauts have walked on the moon.
Continued observation of planet Earth had necessitated another warning be delivered. Planet Earth has succumbed to the same extreme liberalism which forced Klaatu's planetary federation into bankruptcy, by spending money they didn't have on feel good stimulus projects. Federation spaceships are grounded due to lack of fuel, no drilling for new sources of Pedrulium, such that interplanetary personal visits are not possible. Gort the large humanoid robot that had accompanied Klaatu on the earlier visit to Earth is now used for plowing fields to raise organic vegetables not fit for human consumption.
The hoax of galactic warming and numerous planetary environmental protection agencies' (EPA) caused all productive industries to go out of business and paralyzed the various planetary economies. The Earth still has time to reverse its own downward spiral.
The federation also let the United Nebula (UN) get involved in political and military decision making, such that the planetary leadership have become wimps. Inexperienced ideologically driven leaders don't know when to stop negotiating, when to issue warnings or when to apply force.
The young people have all left for other distant galaxies to find jobs, while they still could. Klaatu implores Earthlings not to make the same mistakes the planetary federation did!
(Reference: The Day the Earth Stood Still, a 1951 American science fiction film (20th Century Fox) directed by Robert Wise and written by Edmund H. North based on the short story "Farewell to the Master" (1940) by Harry Bates. Remake of the film in 2008.)
