Russian Prime Minister Vladamir Putin called Hillary Clinton a "dike" today.
When asked why he called Hillary a "dike" and not a "dyke" Putin responded:
"Hillary looks like she is just holding back water. Hell, just look at that scrunchy wrinkled face that she gives everyone at every press conference. Damn, if she is not constantly holding back water, then I don't know who is. It looks like she needs to have a piss once in a while. Man, I don't think I want to be around her when she finally breaks".
When Hillary Clinton first heard that Putin called her a "dike" she immediately pulled off her pants to reveal a very, very, very large strap-on that would make John Holmes look really, really, really small. She started strutting around in front of Putin in her black leather leotards and singing, "Little Russian girl come and perch on Hillary's stick, little Russian girl I'll stretch you with my really big stick".
Hillary was happy until her assistant, MaryDun ByTheLamb told her that Putin said "dike" and not "dyke". Which, in turn, caused Hillary, to no longer to be pissed, but, to start pissing.
She was so upset that she just pissed her way out of the room, that her, and Putin were in, much to Putin's relief.
Upon hearing about the incident an angry Bill Clinton spoke to reporters via satellite, with a lighted cigar in his hand and standing next to a young woman who was spread eagle and naked on a chair: "I'm really pissed. I am really fricken pissed. I'm going to have to tell Obama to nuke Russia and that worthless bastard Putin to hell. Yep, that's what I'm going to do. If Obama says no, well, you remember Vince Foster don't you?"
"Hey, check this out", laughed Bill Clinton who suddenly put the unlighted end of the cigar in the naked woman's vagina. "Watch her suck the cigar with her vagina and then blow out the smoke. Wow! Is that really cool or what?"
"Man, you should have seen the last girl I had in here. She could suck that cigar with her butt, but she blew up when she exhaled on the lighted end of the cigar".
The president of the National Organization of Whores and Lesbians (NOWL), Janet U B Whore, told the press that they were on a mission to put a stop to Hillary's uncontrolled leak.
"We went to Holland to find the little boy who's finger was stuck in the dike, holding back all the water. We figured that, with his other finger that he could plug Hillary too. We found him with his other finger up his nose. When we told him of the situation, he told us:"
"Heck no, that would make my finger all stinky".