A gay man was the main suspect is a crime that has gripped the quiet New Mexican town of Bendover, after a pubic hair was discovered snagged in the drain of a bath tub.
"I never thought I'd live to see the day when a pubic hair would be discovered in the bathroom of a house just across the road from me", said a man who looked like a fat Roy Orbison.
"Just think: it could have been in my bath. Or yours! What if a child picked up that hair? Think of the consequences!"
The detectives investigating this shocking case are working on the assumption that the pubic hair is 'gay' in origin because it is bent.
"A straight person would have straight pubic hair, wouldn't they?", said a police source, "I wouldn't really know because I have no hair at all down there. Bald as a coot. Some say it's due to all those nuclear tests nearby..."
Residents are being asked to shave off their pubes and hand them in to the local police for analysis, but as none of them have any pubic hair to speak of there has been little success on that front.
Suspicion clearly centres on Larry Sabu, 20, a gay man who is known to possess fine downy hair all over his slender body, and who is known to frequently bathe - something the residents of Bendover rarely do because they are a pack of smelly bastards.
Larry's whereabouts cannot be ascertained and he may have fled the country.
His diary was discovered by the roadside with a cryptic message scrawled in blue biro:
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 15TH:
BUY NEW PAIR OF SLIPPERS FOR GRANDMA.
WASH KNOB IN SHOWER.
GO TO SAN FRANCISCO FOR PARTY.
