Plans have been unveiled to broadcast overtly gay programmes on a bent new channel, provisionally called CCB Gay.
The new channel will be a 24-hour channel catering explicitly for homosexual viewers who will be able to indulge their greatest fantasies all day and all night long - with their gay partners or any other available cackpipe cosmonauts, should they so wish.
The news on CCB Gay will be read by Graham Norton, with Dale Winton presenting the weather, and a man with a great big cock doing voiceovers and programme introductions.
Paul O'Grady is to have his very own 6-hour interview slot, complete with canned gay laughter, and Stephen 'Bipolar' Fry has been signed up as the brains of the station, to present QI, or, if you will, Queer Intelligence.
Simon Amstell, the cute, tousle-haired former children's TV presenter, will host a new musical quiz entitled I Never Mind The Bigcocks, whilst Little Britain's Matt Lucas is a fucking talentless wanker, in my humble opinion.
Despite their outrageous gayness, musicians Sir Reg Dwight and former jailbird George Michael will not be allowed anywhere near the new channel. There have to be some standards.