U.S. Muslims Sent to Concentration Camps

Funny story written by Charles Heiner

Tuesday, 28 September 2010


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Encouraged by the success of their Muslim extermination campaigns in Iraq and Afghanistan, Americans have begun one in their homeland as well. There has always been a rift between Muslims and real Americans, but recent actions by the Muslim community, such as its proposal to build the Mohamed Atta Memorial Mosque from the bones of 9/11 victims in New York, have exacerbated the problem.

The campaign got into full swing on a night that has come to be known as Hookahnacht, or The Night of Broken Hookahs, during which Muslim-owned businesses like hookah bars, hawala banks, and Middle Eastern grocery stores were attacked and looted by thousands of government forces. Hundreds of Muslims were killed in the raids, and countless more sent to concentration camps throughout the American west. The scene was especially dramatic in the Muslim community of Dearborn, Michigan, which was virtually obliterated in the onslaught. Shops were destroyed, their windows smashed in. The cries of raped belly dancers echoed through the glass-strewn streets.

Because of their similar appearance to that of Muslims, with full beards and large, tightly wound turbans, a few Indians of the Sikh faith were mistakenly sent to the camps as well. After their release, the Sikhs were charged with failing to dot the i's on their immigration forms. They are now being held without bond at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in Manhattan.

Before the enacting of a national extermination effort, individual communities had their own programs. According to a report by Human Rights Watch, four men were imprisoned in Torrington, Connecticut for their Muslim appearance as early as 2001.

After releasing the report, Human Rights Watch was shut down by the Department of Homeland Security for its publication of classified government information. Its members are now awaiting trial.

Government agents are working hard to make sure Muslims have no place to hide, searching trains and buses for suspicious travelers. An August 29 article in the New York Times states that from 2005 to 2009 such sweeps led to the arrest of 2,788 passengers in the Rochester, NY area alone. "Our mission is to defend the homeland," agent Thomas Pocorobba, Jr. is quoted as saying in the article.

Fearful that Muslims will aid their counterparts in al Qaeda, the armed forces are also taking a stand on the issue.

"I don't want any of them here," said Lieutenant General John L. DeWitt while testifying to Congress. "They are a dangerous element. There is no way to determine their loyalty. It makes no difference whether he is an American citizen, he is still a Muslim. American citizenship does not necessarily determine loyalty. We must worry about a Muslim all the time until he is wiped off the map."

The website New American Media claims anti-Muslim sentiment in the U.S. has steadily increased for the past 15 years, with incidents of vigilante justice rising by more than 50 percent between 2003 and 2005, including the pipe bombing of a Cincinnati mosque and an attack on a pregnant woman in Virginia. According to the website Rethinking Schools, a gathering of 300 angry Americans was prevented by police from attacking a mosque in Chicago on September 11, 2001.

Those police might have reacted differently if the group had attacked in more recent months. Since then, the federal government has paid more heed to Georgia representative Saxby Chambliss's exhortation to arrest every Muslim in America. On October 6, 2001, it enacted the Manhattan Laws, which banned Muslims from flying on or operating aircraft, as well as from all other aspects of the airline and aerospace industries. The Manhattan Laws first withheld Medicare and Medicaid funds from Muslim doctors, and then were amended to bar Muslims from the medical and legal fields entirely. Their magic carpets deeming them a flight risk if arrested, Muslims were denied the full protection of U.S. citizenship, including the rights to due process, to court-appointed council, to protection from arrest without probable cause, and to being brought before a judge within 48 hours of arrest. The government required Muslims to register their property with federal officials, and set limits on the amount of wealth a Muslim could have.

Ayub Ali Khan was the first to be arrested for failing to register property, having neglected to register his hair dye, box cutters, and $5,000 in cash when apprehended on an Amtrak train near Fort Worth, Texas.

All Muslims had to carry identification cards specifying their religion. Muslim men were required to adopt the middle name of "Mohammed," and Muslim women that of "Aisha." It became illegal for American women under the age of 45 to work in Muslim households. Muslims were forbidden to display the American flag, as Habib Soueidan was doing when he was arrested for selling American flags in New York on October 11, 2001. Muslims were banned from public parks, libraries, beaches, and hospitals, and were not allowed to attend public schools after the age of 14. They were prohibited from participating in state lotteries. For identification purposes, every Muslim over six years old was required to wear a white armband with a green hilal symbol, consisting of a five-pointed star encircled by a crescent moon, along with bells, a cow-shaped wooden pendant, and a green hood, belt, and girdle.

Heinrich Rothmund, a Swiss immigration official, persuaded the government to designate the religion of Muslims with a large "M" stamped on their passports. They could use these passports to immigrate to Switzerland, where they were prohibited from building minarets.

According to the Human Rights Watch report, Muslims have been arrested for praying, photography, being photographed, miscegenation, possession of firearms, possession of computers, use of Arabic numerals, applying for adjustments to their visa status, reporting crimes to law enforcement officials, wearing clothes in the presence of a female officer, facing away from the American flag, trespassing on the property of hotels they were checked in to, and smiling.

The government is not alone in its efforts. Today's policy of ethnic cleansing could not have gone into effect without the inspiring words of some great American leaders.

According to the Turkish Times, the evangelical leader Jerry Falwell told Sixty Minutes anchor Bob Simon,

"Islam, like most faiths, has a fringe of radicals who carry on bloodshed wherever they are. Even though these radicals do not represent mainstream Islam, bitter complaints have come in from countless places citing the provocative behavior of Muslims. To prevent vigorous defensive action by the American people, we have no choice but to contain the problem through legislative measures. It may be possible, through a definitive secular solution, to create a basis on which the American people can have a tolerable relationship with the Muslims. If this fails, it will be necessary to create a final solution."

The most significant catalyst for Muslims' extermination was their policy of expansionism. When the mosaics needed to decorate all the mosques they wanted to build throughout the U.S. threatened to overwhelm our national supply of bathroom tile, real Americans reacted. In New York, protesters demonstrated against the construction of the Mohamed Atta Memorial Mosque with signs that read, "No Terror Mosque," and "You Can Build a Mosque at Ground Zero when We Can Build a Synagogue in Palestine."

Pat Robertson spoke out against the expansion of a mosque in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, which, at the suggestion of residents in Temecula, California, was converted into a dog shelter after its congregation was disposed of. The website News Junkie quoted the 700 Club host as saying,

"It isn't just religion, just isn't. Mark my words. If they start bringing thousands of Muslims into that relatively rural area, the next thing you know, they're going to be taking over the city council. Then they're going to be having an ordinance that calls for public prayer five times a day. Then they're going to be having ordinances that there'll have to be facilities for foot-washing in all the public restrooms, in all the airport facilities, etc, etc. And before long they're going to demand, demand, demand, demand, and, little by little, the citizens of Murfreesboro, or whatever little town it is, are going to be cowed by these people. Not to mention their ability to bribe folks. I don't know whether anybody is getting a pay-off, but it's entirely possible."

The Mohamed Atta Memorial Mosque was also opposed by the Anti-Defamation League, which released a statement saying, "We regard freedom of religion as a cornerstone of the American democracy, and that freedom must include the right of all Americans to build community centers and houses of worship. The Muslim religion, however, is nothing other than a doctrine to preserve the Muslim race, and therefore it does not deserve the same protections as legitimate religions."

Congressman Virgil Goode (R-VA) made his position clear in a December, 2006 letter to his constituents, in which he wrote, "I do not subscribe to using the Koran in any way other than for target practice."

The entertainment industry played a role, too. America could not have been regained without the contributions of comedians like Bill Maher, who criticized Muslims for their violent and ignorant ways in his documentary, Islame. After Muslim extremists threatened the TV network Comedy Central for one of its programs' portrayal of the prophet Mohammed, Maher took the entire worldwide infestation of Muslims to task by saying on his TV talk show,

"When South Park got threatened last week by Islamists incensed at their depiction of Mohammed, it served, or should serve, as a reminder to all of us that our culture isn't just different than one that makes death threats to cartoonists. It's better. Because when I make a joke about the Pope, he doesn't send one of his Swiss Guards in their striped pantaloons to stick a pike in my ass. When I make a Jewish joke rabbis may kvetch about it, but they don't pull out a scimitar and threaten an adult circumcision."

Some of the new anti-Muslim legislation, such as the Law for the Restoration of the Professional Civil Service, reaches the highest echelons of power, with Muslim representatives Keith Ellison (DFL-MN) and Andre Carson (D-IN) being hauled from their offices in the halls of Congress and taken to the concentration camps. Even President Obama's secret Muslim tendencies have been discovered. While heading to the University of Wisconsin on Monday, September 27 to hold a rally there the next day, he told his limo driver, Michael Enright, to pull over. Enright grew suspicious when Obama laid a prayer mat on the shoulder of the highway, got on his knees, and started groveling towards Mecca. He nervously asked the President if he was a Muslim. When Obama replied that he was, Enright knew he had a tough decision to make, but he remained strong and did the patriotic thing. "I have to bring you down," he said, before using a Leatherman knife to slash Obama's throat, face, arm, and thumbs.

Obama was treated for his injuries and sent to the camps, and former Vice President Joe Biden was sworn in to replace him as America's new President. Biden will present Enright with the Presidential Medal of Freedom in a very special ceremony to be held later this year.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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