President Barry Obama, seemingly unaware of a ground swell of discontent toward his failed social and economic policies, is pulling out all the stops as he plans to lecture the nation non stop until the mid term elections 5 weeks away.
Kicking off his push, Obama will be appearing at the Liberty Mall (sic) at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, where backers are urgently trying to assure that some folks will show up for the televised event.
A recent fund raiser in NYC left the hall half empty, even with tickets, including a photo op with the President, reduced to $50 and a 2 for 1 coupon to KFC after the event.
Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, marking the days till he too leaves Obama behind in the recent mass exodus of close cabal collaborators, said the President will be launching his "I DON'T KNOW & I DON'T CARE" policy toward the majority of voters who really 'don't give a shit, and could care less.'
"Most of our supporters, real, imagined, illegal, incarcerated or deceased, don't really care about the issues. That's why the President is leaving the issues behind in this election campaign and focusing on things that matter like the Washington Redskins, The Miami Heat, a healthy diet, the Chevy Volt, and especially taking expensive sky boxes from wealthy individuals and corporations and redistributing them to the less fortunate...especially before November 2."
Gibbs did say, however, that Obama 'really didn't give a shit about Hockey' as it was a Canadian Redneck Sport not really suited for his voting base which preferred creating mayhem in the stands in a more temperate atmosphere.
Critics have said Obama's move is a savvy political one since he has lost 4 of his top 5 economic advisors, Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel is leaving to be Mayor of Chicago, and David Axelrod is also leaving for Chicago as the President plans a strategic retreat and reforming defensive lines in the Windy City.
"He's got NOTHING!" said a GOP pollster." He's done...all he's got is the same old marketing spiel and his 'Sham Wow' approach has proven he can't absorb nothing...he's a double negative...this is just another scam to get votes, just like on TV when they say, "BUT WAIT....ACT NOW AND I'LL THROW IN FREE TUITION, DRIVER'S LICENSES, FREE INSURANCE, AND A JOB WITH THE CENSUS BUREAU....AND IT'll ALL BE FREE......!"
According to the advance men at the event, Nancy Pelosi will be a key note speaker along side Obama's Aunt Zulu, flown in from Boston from her free housing development, where she will address the crowd in her native dress and explain 'what it means to be an illegal Kenyan on a free ride in America...a country of untold benefits I'm entitled to!"
Gibbs says the Chicago move is to consolidate Obama's hold on the mid west where he can control his burgeoning Financial Empire and mount his campaign to be the Face of the European Union in his 'retirement' years.
Gibbs said the move will put Obama close to his supporters from Detroit, Cleveland, Gary, and the South Side of Chicago which will make him virtually 'bullet proof' in any type of election where he controls at least 98% of the voting population, and 109% of downtown Detroit.
Latest reports from the Madison campus says the President of the Student Union is holding out for $45 per student to attend, while Secretary of the Treasury Tim Geithner is offering $25 and a reduction of interest rates on Student Loans to 2% UNDER Prime.
More as it develops and YOU have to pay for it.
