New York hooker Irma Nici reckons Beckham 'pleasured himself with Cillit Bang Grime & Limey'

Written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

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Bang! And the dirt is gone....

New York - (Reuterus): The $10,000-a-pop US hooker claims she bedded footballer David Beckham in a three-way shagathon at Manhattan's Le Parker Meridien Hotel.

In an in-depth interview with celebwatch site LA FagHagSlagMag Irma Nici said the former England captain 'pleasured himself with some bathroom creme' - thought to be a tough stain remover popular with slappers everywhere.

"I think it was Cillit Bang!" Nici giggled, "sure lived up to its advertising slogan of Bang! And the dirt is gone!!"

Nici also recalled how a fellow slut - from Kristin Davis' Holy Roman Emperor VIP brothel - joined them on the king-size water bed at the hotel's Tiger Woods Memorial Orgy Suite.

"Man, we easily outshagged that Wayne Rooney threesome," Nici chuckled.

"But then David has no need of downmarket £1,200-a-time whores... when there's high class gals like me to take him in hand!"

Thirty five year-old Beckham has laughed off Nici's claims, telling the prostitute to 'go kiss my ass' via a lawyer's defamation writ issued in the Manhattan courts this week.

His main alibi centers on evidence that on the night in question he was staying with his LA Galaxy team mates down the road at the Plaza Hotel.

Victoria Beckham has been married to Dasvid for eleven years.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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