Rooney third-string hooker: Coleen family 'mad at World Cup gambling losses'

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 9 September 2010

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Rien ne va plus!

Manchester - (Mug Punter News): Yet another seedy Rooney slapper pitched in today claiming World Cup gambling losses 'have sent the McLoughlin family mental'.

Alleged Roo third string Samii Darnley claimed Wayne's screwing around with pro spread-leggers 'wouldn't have been that bad' if online spread-betting bets had stumped up the cash.

Defending the Man U player's record Darnley praised striker Rooney's football tips that had kept the McLoughlin tribe sweet for a decade.

"Now they're just mad at them credit card bills heaped up on the doormat," the 34-24-34 escort commented this afternoon.

"Probably would have turned a blind eye to all that offside shagging palaver if they'd scored big time on the South Africa punts."

Not everyone agrees, however.

"That's no way to describe Coleen!" Cheshire resident and doormat defender Suki Barraclough retorted angrily.

"She's just like sweet Toni Terry and Cheryl Cole, taking it on the chin while their feckless men thrash it out in massage parlors, sordid hotel rooms and the back of customised SUVs...

"Should be a law against it."

Meanwhile online betting site Aintgottaprayer.con has slashed the odds on a 'quicky' divorce for hapless Coleen and her errant husband.

"Gambling on that 'dead cert' might redress any football losses," the site's MD dave Mug-Punter said today.

Vanessa Perroncel is 31.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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