Written by Gail Farrelly

Monday, 13 September 2010

image for Bo Obama, First Dog, Weds at the White House
"I do."

The Rose Garden was the scene of the marriage yesterday of Bo Obama, a Portuguese Water Dog, to Abbie Gayle Turdblossom (pictured here), a Heinz 57 Dog from New Mexico. The bride will keep her name.

The brides's namesake, Abigail Adams, came back from the dead for the day to serve as matron of honor. The husband of Mrs. Adams, the late President John Adams, served as best man. In addition to being in the wedding party, Mrs. Adams had another agenda. "I plan on teaching that pesky little mutt the correct way to spell her name," she told friends. "How many times do I have to tell her that her name is spelled A-B-I-G-A-I-L?"

Instead of a veil, the bride wore an academic cap from her obedience school graduation. As she romped down the aisle yesterday to her groom, she chewed on a lovely bouquet of white roses and pink carnations.

There was a brief interruption in the ceremony when a rodent scurried across the Rose Garden lawn and Bo could not resist running after it. Taking it all in stride, the bride waited for her groom to return from the chase and used the time to bat around the swinging pink tassel that was part of her headgear. "Boys will be boys," she calmly barked to the guests.

When the minister finally pronounced the happy couple dog and wife and produced the marriage certificate, the groom promptly chewed it up and swallowed it. "I was hungry," he explained to his appalled wife. "That little rodent was the only thing I had to eat since breakfast."

The bride and groom plan to divide their time between doghouses in New Mexico (where Abbie Gayle has just obtained a position as an assistant obedience trainer at a dog school) and Wash., D. C., where Bo serves as a consultant in the White House Office of Doggie Affairs.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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