Breaking news: A brand new, totally separate oil disaster is unfolding off the coast of Louisiana. Monday night, a small boat hit an oil wellhead knocking the top off and allowing a geyser of oil and/or natural gas to spew 20 feet or more into the air.
A parish spokesperson was in tears as he exclaimed "Oh good Lord have mercy. How much more can we take? Louisiana is the official 'Job' of the United States." Although the details are sketchy, BP is hoping that the new leak has nothing to do with them, and that BP will not be held responsible for any more disasters of Biblical proportions placed upon Louisiana.
Said the new CEO, Bob Dudley, "While we are not sure of the exact locations of all our oil wells and wellheads in the waters off the coast of Louisiana, we're hoping this latest disaster will be the headache of another oil company, say Shell, who think they are just so much better than us since they changed the way they did business after the Exxon Valdez disaster. They've yet to experience a real US oil tragedy and it's high time they stepped up to the plate."
More details as we get them.