Tony Hayward BP / CEO has been officially exiled to Siberia by President Obama and Russian ex-President Putin is ecstatic to have the chance to wreak revenge on BP and their masterful leaks.
After all the ex-CEO of BP's Russian operation did a mighty "runner" and is still wanted by the Russian mafia (alias the Russian government) for "leaking" funds out of Russia (a BP speciality, leaks).
Putin has promised Tony a warm welcome in one of his VIP Stalags, in fact he's promised Hayward Alexander Solschenizyn's padded cell for the duration of his stay!
Hayward can't wait for his new assignment to begin and is thrilled to bits about leaving the US and Obama's constant insults about how he personally polluted half of the Gulf of Mexico and cost the local fisherman millions of dollars just because he turned off the alarm before the explosion happened.
BP are quite happy with this solution and are glad to see the back of their ex-overpaid-CEO so they can patch up relations with Obama and the Russians, continue their dodgy business with Colonel Gadaffi (he's full of leaks) off of the Libyan coast and milk the punters at their filling-up stations.
Hayward will be releasing his autobiography soon (he's got plenty of time) and it promises to be a blockbuster called: " I was a BP (Big Prick) troubleshooter once upon a time !!!"
