Back to the Tudors as 'the Earl of Leicester' Robert Dudley takes over as BP CEO

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

image for Back to the Tudors as 'the Earl of Leicester' Robert Dudley takes over as BP CEO
If this one screws up, George, it's orf with his head! AND yours!

London - (Crude News): His 16th century namesake was a favorite 'poodle' and a first cousin once removed of the greatest English monarch ever, Queen Elizabeth 1st.

Indeed the first Earl's reputation as a Machiavellian master courtier who always went commando ahead of royal private audiences has set something of a benchmark for current wannabes.

And now his 21st century reincarnation is taking over at the helm of troubled supermajor BP in a bid to shore up the fallout of the crude industry's worst peacetime fiasco.

Robert 'Bob' Dudley is a blond, blue-eyed and almost Arian-looking safe pair of hands.

His mission statement is to rescue the tarnished image of Queen Elizabeth II whose lifetime of leeching off a BP dirty tricks slush fund made possible the marriage and subsequent divorce of Diana, Princess of Wails.

Dudley takes over from failed tosspot Tony Hayward whose departure for the company's Siberian desk has fuelled rumors that he is a Russian spy.

Despite an illustrious CV redolent with myriad royal connections there is no mention (so far!) of any go-commando proclivities.

ExxonMobil chair Rex Tillerson is shitting bricks.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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