WASHINGTON D.C. (ABSNN) -- Award winning Spoof reporter Abel Rodriguez filed this frightening story with the All Bullshit News Network at midnight this morning:
According to President Barack Obama, a Killer Computer Virus called, FugYouArizona, has been unleashed by a coalition of Mexicans and Hispanic-Arizonians and will affect anyone reading any news outlet other than theSpoof.com.
Speaking with me (Frankie the J) by telephone, Rodriguez stated categorically, "Those rotten bastards have wiped out all news outlets around the country, especially NBC, CNBC, and MSNBC."
Reports filtered into the ABSNN World Headquarters in Barboursville, West Virginia, that thousands upon thousands of computer users who atttempted to access any news organ other than theSpoof.com were immediately infected with a fatal error message--either that, or they were told that the IRS and Homeland Securitywere on the way to kill them and their families.
"Many committed suicide, and killed their spouses and children rather than submit to the US Government agents. But it's all a lie," said Rodriguez.
Arizona and Mexico reportedly reached an agreement Thursday to infect all computers in the US with the "FugYouArizona Virus." After all of the Arizona computers are infected, and a substantial number of other computers throughout the nation are infected, "Mexico will invade Arizona taking it back from the U.S. and replicating it's citizens with clones," Rodriguez said.
Rodriguez suspects that his native state, Tejas, will be next in line to be reabsorbed by Mexico in a military operqtion known as Santa Anna's Revenge.
"I encourage all Arizonians and other computer users to log in only to theSpoof.com for unbiased, no BS news coverage," Abel said.
"However, it is said that if you light candles in your bathroom, stare into the mirror above the sink and repeat three times the phrase, 'I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,' your computer will be spared the virus," Rodriguex claimed just before his communication with this office was terminated with extreme prejudice.
More news regarding the FugYouArizona Virus as it becomes available.