Canada Has Coldest Winter on Record

Funny story written by Dr. Helmus P. Cullingus

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

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Climatologists studying climate change have reported that the winter of 2009-2010 in Canada has been the coldest on record. One Canadian scientist said "it was so cold you could freeze the balls off a pawn shop!"

A reporter from Montreal's daily newspaper La Plume interviewed a Dr. Helmus P. Cullingus about this extremely cold weather. The physician, retired from the Naval Forces of Iceland, has immigrated to Canada. "I came to Canada because I thought the temperature would be warmer than in Iceland. How wrong I was!

In Reykjavík where I was stationed our group of physicians used to sit in hot tubs to stay warm, in our off duty hours. The hot tubs were made out of lava rock set atop geothermal volcanic vents. We would sit in the water and read the Edda to each other.

After awhile, we became bored and took to staring at pictures of the blond Icelandic film star Eygló Svala Arnarsdóttir. Eventually more stimulation was desired, such that naked pictures of America's film stars Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O'Donnell, Rock Hudson and Ricky Martin were obtained.

We all had a hot time, got hot buns, a hot piece of ass, or had the hots for someone! Our group was a mixed bag of hotties. On balance, there are plenty of beavers in Canada too."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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