Augusta Patron Describes Drone Attack: "Pungent Odor Of Burning Poontang"

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 9 April 2010

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Skank Copter

Dateline Augusta: Yesterday's Predator Drone missile attack on one of Tiger's skanks caught rapelling down a rope from a hovering helicopter was largely ignored by ESPN and the Golf Channel. A patron who would not give his name described the scene:

"Tiger was nearing the 1st Tee and I heard a chopper coming over directly above us. Saw a skank with big tits and dark hair rapelling from the chopper. The guy next to me wearing a green jacket was yelling into his radio phone, 'Skank Alpha...Skank Alpha...Bogey at 12 oclock...Bogey at 12 oclock!'

"Looking up, all I could see is an asshole and two elbows coming down the rope over Tiger. Then a muffled swooosh, and the skank just vaporized. The man with the radio phone yelped, 'Skank Down..Skank Down...Job well done, boys. Send the drone back to Kandahar.' Some black gentlemen with scoops and brooms drove up, and in about 2 minutes they had the teeing area spic and span. The only thing left was the pungent odor of burning poontang. Reminded me of Nam after a napalm bombing."

More reports from Augusta to follow...

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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