Tiger Woods First GolfGate 'Scorecard Cutey' Scores $10 Million!

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 2 April 2010

image for Tiger Woods First GolfGate 'Scorecard Cutey' Scores $10 Million!
The first of ten one million dollar installments that Rachel Uchitel will receive from TigerBoy.

ORLANDO - It took her over four months but Rachel Uchitel, aka Rich Rich Rich Rachel has just 'earned' $10 million from Eldrick Tont Woods because she promised not to do a "Show and Tell and Tell All."

Yes, in four short months Rachel went from being a working club hostess to being a rich, rich, rich, retired opportunistic ho(le) in one.

Uchitel has stated that she gave up her job as a club hostess to concentrate on being there for Tiger when he was sad, depressed, and confused.

Rachel said that if it had not been for her, encouraging Tiger by telling him that if he did good in the golf tournaments she would reward him in the bedroom tournaments, he would not have won all of the tournaments and millions which he did.

Uchitel then stated that in all actuality she should have been paid $20 million for her 'devotion and dedication' but she agreed to the lower sum of $10 million.

In other news. Famed motorcycle author Randolph McYucca has just written a book about Jesse James entitled, 'Oops - The Jesse James Story.' McYucca has already been approached by Mountaintop Pictures about purchasing the movie rights.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more