DEMS Point Proudly to Rep. Alcee Hastings to Prove Criminal Rehab Really Does Work!

Funny story written by Morse

Thursday, 25 March 2010


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for DEMS Point Proudly to Rep. Alcee Hastings to Prove Criminal Rehab Really Does Work!
Alcee Hastings Beating the Drum for ObamaCare After Making Up His Own Rules in Congress!

Following the tumultuous celebration in the White House commemorating America's entrance into the Third World, White House leaders pointed out another of their achievements by feting impeached Federal Judge Alcee Hastings as "Come Back Player of the Year." Hastings is now a powerful leader in the House of Representatives and was instrumental in passing ObamaCare.

Dems, who long have preached compassion and rehabilitation for pedophiles and convicted serial killers, pointed to Hastings as an example of how lenient handling of accused felons can turn them into outstanding, productive citizens.

Despite being brought up on charges after he was appointed a Federal Judge by former peanut Jimmy Carter, involving bribery to return confiscated property and dismiss drug charges, Alcee has served proudly in Congress since 1993 working his way up the seniority ladder.

Even though he was one of only 6 federal judges ever impeached, he has managed to work his way up to head of the Rules Committee, and believe it or not, Head of the Oversight and Investigations Committee, a position that Charles Wrangle (sic) joyfully supports.

When questioned about the ethics during the recent ObamaCare debate, Hastings declared, "Rules? What Rules. We make up the Rules as we go here!"

Hastings also famously ripped Sarah Palin for her outdoor lifestyle which happened to include hunting and fishing, and warned Jews and Blacks "they would be next on her agenda."

Hastings can thank former officials for not banning him from holding office, and his former co conspirator and fellow lawyer for refusing to testify against him in court and during the impeachment trials.

President Clinton, who later pardoned Hasting's law partner said, "Politics had nothing to do with it. It was just the right thing to do at the time and considering the contribution to my Presidential library, and besides, I may have let him smoke one of my cigars, but I never had sex with that lawyer ever!"

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi continues her crusade against the "Cesspool of Politics," and vows that "no deal is too small to consider. We will continue our pledge of transparency in subverting congress, because frankly, there's nothing anyone can do about it. Ask me if I give a shit!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more