Blackjack winnings fuelled Tiger's Russian Roulette nuptial punt

Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 20 December 2009


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Seizures Palace: Les Jeux Sont Faites....

Las Vegas - (Rien Ne Va Plus): "Taking the shirt off a casino's back? That's Tiger's idea of a game of strip poker," cocktrail (sic) waitress Jamie Jungers said today.

And massive Vegas card game winnings financed his philandering rampage while keeping the marriage gamble looking sweet.

"Everyone on Woods' official payroll got regular $$$s bungs," Jungers added.

"Elin's security detail, Woods' domestic staff, the PR gofers toutin matrimonial bliss..."

Nothing, not even fellow golf champ John Daly's own legendary $60 million gaming losses, could put a dampener on Woods' magic touch.

"The first time Tiger cleaned out Seizure's Palace they had to write an IOU for five million dollars," Ms Jungers recalled.

The cash was delivered to Woods' hotel suite in an armored trunk. And casino staff bent over backwards to help wire $50,000 bonuses to dozens of his regular skanks and hos.

Jungers is said to be dodging an IRS subpoena to make her testify about Woods' moneytrail that has so far evaded public screwtiny.

Fellow porn star Holly Sampson's reported $2 million payoff could be part of an organised global conspiracy to defraud a leading tax lawyer said today.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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