The Twilight Zone 2009 - The Case Of The Missing Spoof Writer

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

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A woman known as "Twilight Lil" who is purported to be the infamous "Bandit Rogue."

BURNHAM-ON-CROUCH, England - The head of the Internet Anonymous Writers Department, Sir Nigel Basil Chichester, no relation to the Chichester family of fish and chips fame, has just issued a formal directive.

Sir Nigel said that it appears that there is a 'bandit rogue' who has managed to somehow infiltrate the Spoof site's firewall.

This individual identified by the code name 'BR-549' has gone into the highly classified site and taken an article from one individual and placed it into the unsuspecting file of another individual.

Sir Nigel has pointed out that he believes that it may be the handy work of an individual known as "Twilight Lil," who has recently managed to infiltrate sites belonging to The United States Department of Velcro, The Detroit Pistons, Paris Hilton's mother, the all-girl British singing sensation band The Bonkettes, mobster Salvatore "The Pizzaman" Goombalini, and Grandma Lee.

Chichester has said that this female malcontent and somewhat rather homely looking twat, for want of a better word, has gone against the established rules, principles, and regulated regulations of the Internet's established practice of authorship crediting, or to put it in simple layman's terms credited authorship.

Chichester said that he has received 27 emails, 19 texts, 7 phone calls, and a singing telegram regarding this mysteriously mysterious situation.

The incidental occurrence, which incidentally has never occurred before, is being investigated to the fullest extent possible.

Chichester has stated that he has spoken to The Spoof site Administrator Mark Lowton, a good-looking fellow Englishman like himself, and that the two are working diligently to get to the bottom of this matter.

Sir Niggy, as his grandmother Crumpy calls him, said that he has his top investigators on the case, which he has dubbed, The Case of The Missing Twilight Chap, known in America as The Case of The Missing Twilight Guy.

He said that he has collected the needed DNA and is steadfastly pursuing the matter in far off exotic places such as Bombay, Karachi, Nairobi, Shanghai, Katmandu, and Pittsburgh.

Chichester was sad to report that the IAWD agent in Brazil's rain forest Pedro Poco Jr., has apparently resigned; something to do with big mother effen mosquitoes the size of freakin' pregnant sparrows.

But Sir Nigel has stressed that the guilty party will be apprehended. And when she is the pitifully pathetic bitch, for want of a better word, will most definitely not be sent to a Swiss jail where those folks would probably only let her out on bail as they have done with Roman 'Shithead" Polanski...stupid! stupid! stupid!, but that's another story.

Sir Nigel has said that he has made arrangements with Venezuela's President Hugo Chavez to take and execute the guilty party in exchange for the Internet Anonymous Writers Department agreeing to purchase 3,000 barrels of Venezuelan oil.

In unrelated news. Reports coming out of Texas state that Governor Rick Perry is prohibiting Tom DeLay from returning to his home state. The governor sited the reason as being DeLay's absolutely horrible Texas Two-Step performance on the Dancing With The Stars result's show.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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