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Funny satire stories about Rick Perry

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Funny story: Trump Will Start New Reality Show Based on Hiring and Firing Cabinet Members

Trump Will Start New Reality Show Based on Hiring and Firing Cabinet Members

Hollywood, CA President-elect Donald Trump announced today that he will have a new reality show starting in January. "I will be the only sitting President of the United States to ever have a major television show while serving as President. My sho...

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Funny story: Trump Said It Would Be Rigged

Trump Said It Would Be Rigged

He said it would be rigged. He blatantly announced that the presidential election would be rigged. The squirrels supporting his presidential election promised the election would be rigged. They would have poll monitors at various neighborhoods to...

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Funny story: Donald Trump: "I Hate All People Equally"

Donald Trump: "I Hate All People Equally"

Donald Trump today managed to offend all remaining members of the population in a broad far reaching speech with virtually no redeeming qualities. "I hate you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you....(heavy breathing)and...

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Funny story: Oops! I'm Running Again (for Rick Perry)

Oops! I'm Running Again (for Rick Perry)

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Oops! I'm running again You'd better believe I'm in this to win Oh baby It might seem like a rush But you know I'm serious 'Cause I grew up in Texas Where you know we hate taxes. Oh baby, baby Oops, I'm running again I played with your heart and refused Medicaid Oh baby, baby Oops, you know that I'm real That I'm sent from a...

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Funny story: Gov. Perry Targeting ICEE Terrorists; Also Eyeing Slurpee Militants, Slushie Extremists

Gov. Perry Targeting ICEE Terrorists; Also Eyeing Slurpee Militants, Slushie Extremists

AUSTIN, Texas -- Gov. Rick Perry has announced that the Texas National Guard will be deployed to ferret out suspected ICEE terrorists who have moved across the border into the Lone Star State in an attempt to sabotage the diets of American children w...

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Funny story: Texas Governor Rick Perry is Ronald Reagan's son by Princess Margaret

Texas Governor Rick Perry is Ronald Reagan's son by Princess Margaret

Austin, Texas - Royal probate documents sealed under the Brits' Official Secrets Act are being subpoenaed in a Texas lawsuit alleging abuse of power by Governor Perry. Supporters of Travis County District Attorney and convicted DUI dissembler Rose...

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Funny story: The New Colossus (for the Republican Party)

The New Colossus (for the Republican Party)

The New Colossus (for the Republican Party) With apologies to Emma Lazarus Just like the brazen ass of bad-hair fame With chiseled face broadcast across the land, Here at our US border gates shall stand With border guards be-pistoled, in his name Hater of exiles! From his ambitious flame Glows unwelcome spite; his air-brushed looks command The hate-filled folks who represent his brand...

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Funny story: Rick Perry: "Illegal Children Taking Over Favorite Wal-Mart"

Rick Perry: "Illegal Children Taking Over Favorite Wal-Mart"

Texas Gov Rick Perry said in an emotional interview today that his favorite Wal-Mart is being over-run with illegal children! "I couldn't even get to the snack bar" a frustrated Perry proclaimed "it was like Korea in there"! Concerns about the...

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Funny story: Gov. Rick Perry Says Students Should Get Guns

Gov. Rick Perry Says Students Should Get Guns

Gov. Rick Perry of Texas today explained how his states voter ID laws work. "A state handgun license qualifies, but a state university identification card does not. Of course military ID's qualify too," stated the GOP governor. "There's been...

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Funny story: US Border Patrol Invokes Nancy Reagan's Anti-Drug Mantra "Just Say No" To Solve Child Immigrant Problem.

US Border Patrol Invokes Nancy Reagan's Anti-Drug Mantra "Just Say No" To Solve Child Immigrant Problem.

The head of the U.S. Border Patrol, James Bratcatcher, highly stressed from dealing with the sudden influx of children and young mothers with children from Latin America, has claimed that a solution to the international problem came to him in a dream...

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Funny story: Rick Perry Likens Being an Asshole to Alcoholism (Or, Ooops! I Did it Again!)

Rick Perry Likens Being an Asshole to Alcoholism (Or, Ooops! I Did it Again!)

AP--Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) compared being an asshole to alcoholism Wednesday, arguing that both can be overcome. "Whether or not you feel compelled to be an asshole or not, you have the ability to decide not to do that," Perry explained during...

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Funny story: Gov. Rick Perry Talks To Crimea Secessionist

Gov. Rick Perry Talks To Crimea Secessionist

Sergei Aksyonov, the leader of the Crimea effort to secede from the Urkraine, who was installed as prime minister of Crimea after armed men seized the Parliament building last week, has had several conversations with Governor Rick Perry of Texas.

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Funny story: China's Xi Jinping Loves, Invites Rick Perry For State Visit

China's Xi Jinping Loves, Invites Rick Perry For State Visit

President Xi Jinping of the People's Republic of China has invited "The Most Honorable Governor Of The Most Christian State of Texas" to his country for "an elaborate state visit." He said that he admired the way that Texas had "put religion way...

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Funny story: Voluptuous Boeing Spokeswoman Silences Media

Voluptuous Boeing Spokeswoman Silences Media

The machinists union in Washington rejected a long-term labor deal proposed by Boeing several weeks ago. The proposed pack was "take-back bargaining" and a very bad deal for the union. Without having access to machinists, the initial response of...

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Funny story: Lone Star State Just Got Lonelier

Lone Star State Just Got Lonelier

Texas- Last night under the cover of darkness, the entire city of Austin slipped out of the state. Hank Perkins, a resident of the nearby town of Waco said he thought he heard something, but decided to wait until the morning to investigate. "W...

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Funny story: Texas governor Rick Perry signs controversial anti-cleavage law

Texas governor Rick Perry signs controversial anti-cleavage law

AUSTIN, TX - Capping off nearly a month of intense media coverage and legislative gobbledygook, Gov. Rick Perry, R-Texas, signed a bill restricting cleavage on Friday. The measure effectively bans all cleavage in the state. Republicans have said t...

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Funny story: Summer Awards and Festivities Announced

Summer Awards and Festivities Announced

The White House has indicated ceremonies and awards in upcoming festivities honoring recent and ongoing achievements. The awards are being carefully vetted by a bi-partisan commission from Perception Management and Bright Stripes Corporation (mot...

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