The announcement of a refund to all parents who had ever bought an instructional video for their babies that was supposed to make them a genius has some industry leaders worried.
Apparently the entertainment giant had offered a video that would allegedly increase the IQ of the babies of the parents who bought it. Unmentioned by the sellers of the video was that any parent who believed that video watching was to raise intelligence was of such a low order of evolutionary development as to have already saddled their offspring with an insurmountable genetic disadvantage.
That obvious point notwithstanding, many did buy it, and figured it would be a great substitute for reading to their kid, talking to their kid, or in any way interacting with their kid.
Surprising only to the parents dumb enough to have bought it, the babies did not turn into geniuses smart enough to support their Epsilon Sub-Moron parents.
So, aware that the jury in any civil suit would be made up of just such people, a massive refund is being issued. A refund that has others in the education racket worried.
Said Administrator Blackman of George Washington Carver High School, South Side Chicago, "If the precedent is set for parents being able to get refunds simply for their kids not learning, where does that end? Our budget is constricted enough, if we had to give refunds for every High School graduate who can't read, do math or think, we'd be out of business in two days."
School Board leader Donna Martinez-Jones agreed. "Our schools are admirable at teaching kids about alternate means of sexual expression, how their parent's religion is based on lies, and how liberalism is the only intelligent ideology. But if we're going to have to start paying refunds for every kid who can't say when the Norman Conquest was, we're in big trouble."
Commentator George Martin responded to those complaints. "If it weren't for those dipshits having thrashed our educational system for the past seven decades, we'd not have had to settle. It's their world, we just cater to it."
