Kansas Minister Wants To Ban Prayer In The Church

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 23 August 2009

image for Kansas Minister Wants To Ban Prayer In The Church
Rev. Levon Chinbocker (center) with his entire congregation.

TOPEKA, Kansas - Reverend Levon Chinbocker, who just very well may be the most hated man in America, has stated that his goal is to ban prayer in every church in the United States.

Chinbocker who is the head of the High Road Episcopresbytist Church of Topeka says that he is a very determined individual who is used to getting whatever the hell he wants.

CNN has repeatedly referred to the Topeka minister as "The Wacko Reverend." Chinbocker has gained nation-wide notoriety by making his highly ignorant remarks on Fox Network shows hosted by Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, and Glenn Beck.

CNN on the other hand has adamantly refused to allow Chinbocker to appear on their shows. The official CNN statement is that they will not allow a dumb-ass, stupid jerk an opportunity to spew his hate-filled bigoted biased rhetoric on their airwaves.

Chinbocker has stated that he has attained famed religious attorney Sylvania Daktari to represent him in his lawsuit against the United States, CNN, the Pope, and The Hartford Halo Company the nation's largest producer of church collection plates.

Meanwhile the lawyers for the United States Alex McSummerside and Ira Goldenfaxx have stated that they will go after Rev. Chinbocker and by the time they get through with him he will be making arrangements to move his controversially bigoted bottom to Iraq.

McSummerside and Goldenfaxx are already going after the organizations that have contributed to Chinbocker's cause. Those groups that have provided funding to the anti-religious organization include:

  • The Quasi-Nazi Party of Pluma De Pato, Argentina
  • The SOB Sons of Hitler based in Chacharramendi, Argentina
  • The Calgary, Canada Chapter of The Bougainvillea and Oleander Order of The Ku Klux Klan
  • Mr. Vittland Bucketberry III, owner and operator of Bucketberry Airboat Rides in Happy Jack, Louisiana

Goldenfaxx pointed out that the FBI has stated publicly that Rev. Chinbocker will not be allowed to infest the airwaves with his anti-religion oratorical diatribes, blasphemous tirades, vociferous exhortations, or sarcastic rhetoric.

The FBI has been watching the reverend and they have photos of him in a late model Chevrolet throwing a Dairy Queen Three Musketeers Blizzard cup out the passenger's side window.

They feel that between that and the fact that he has been taped vulgarly badmouthing Kermit the Frog they have enough on him to put him in jail for a few years at least.

In other news. Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has just come out with her eleventh book. This one is entitled, Minute Rice and is a collection of 8,001 of her favorite all-time one-liners.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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