The President was in Russian where they agreed to help settle a lot of differences by the United States sending in 200,000 military personell into nearby Georgia while the Russian army will send 200,000 troops into our state of Georgia.
The Swine Flu went on a rampage and killed nearly 100,000 people which was a small percentage since 10,000,000 have now come down with the disease. Health experts warn that it could become even more contagious in the fall & winter, the flu seasons.
A UFO landed in Paris, France, and sent out a female-shaped robot to talk to the French people. Several Frenchmen broke their thumbs and fingers trying to pinch it's ass. It finally left after nearly pinching a plug out of the mayor's ass as it appeared to think this was the way earthlings greeted each other.
Dick Cheney had two more heart attacks while on a hunting expedition but was OK, although one caused him to shoot Mitch McConnell in the face. McConnell is fine but that silly smile looks a little one-sided.
Former President began singing "Jimmy Crack Corn (And I Don't Care) and is still singing at a hospital in Atlanta, where many of the Russian troops are stationed.
The Dalai Lama crossed his arms and floated over the Pentagon, which was nothing all that great because of Abby Hoffman and his group having levitated the Pentagon itself 300 feet into the air in a 1967 anti-war protest.
Some other actors and important people died also.