Madoff Redux, Jail Time

Funny story written by Philbert of Macadamia

Thursday, 2 July 2009

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"Club Fed"

New York, NY: Judgment day has finally arrived for 71 year old Bernie Madoff concerning his financial Ponzi scheme. A judge sentenced Bernie to 150 years in federal prison and assuming good behavior he could be paroled in 2109!

Madoff's pyramid of greed is a theory in larceny, proposed in his 1960 paper "A Variation on a Scheme of Ponzi," which he subsequently extended to include his observations of people's very trusting nature. Nobody paid notice to this paper.

Some blame the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) for lack of oversight, sleeping with the enemy or just plain sleeping. Government travel budgets are always tight! However, SEC personnel in NYC could have taken the subway to Wall and Broad Streets where the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) is located. The NYSE computers could have been examined to determine if there were any records of Madoff's trading transactions.

Others blame Mr. Madoff's himself for his lack of understanding of Abraham Lincoln and Warren Buffet. Mr. Lincoln said "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time." Mr. Buffet observed that during hard economic times "You only find out who is swimming naked when the tide goes out."

Washington DC rumors indicate that during his stay at "club fed" extra chocolate bars (cigarettes are not good anymore) will be provided to Bernie. That is, if he cooperates with the US Treasury Department in developing a clever means of reducing the Obama administration's $2.0 trillion deficit.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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