A special place in Hell awaits Bernie Madoff when he croaks. Satan himself allowed himself to be interviewed on Fox News (where else?) today.
Interviewer: What have you set up for Bernie Madoff when he finally gets shived by his prison roommate?
Satan: We have a special section especially set up for him in the Muslim section of Hell. It is where we keep all the suicide bombers who blew themselves and a lot of innocent people up thinking they would get 76 virgins upon entering what they thought would be heaven. Actually, the real interpretation is that they would get to do ONE virgin 76 times.
Interviewer: (Aghast) You don't mean...!
Satan: Yes! We have checked the record and seen that Mr. Madoff has never been touched by another man. That technically makes him a virgin. All I can say is that he is going to be one sore puppy!