Economists have predicted that once the economy begins to tank due to high tariffs and voodoo trickle-down theories, some of the most popular investments will once more be Ponzi Schemes as investors once again look for a sure thing, with low investm...
Trump Tower, NY Trump's daughter, Ivanka, who recently shuttered her clothing line because she was "too busy" (all the stores stopped selling it), announced that she will start the Ivanka Trump Designer Cage Co. "We just thought it was an idea who...
There's still a year left for Janet Yellen to serve in her term as the current Federal Reserve Chairperson, yet President Trump has already nominated Bernie Madoff to replace her. The early nomination tactic is probably to see what kind of deal he c...
Washington, DC It has long been a tradition for U.S. Presidents leaving office to pardon people. President Clinton pardoned 140 in the last days of his office. Some of the celebrities requesting meetings with Obama, besides the obvious like O.J. S...
Butner, North Carolina Famed Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff announced from his prison cell today that he has embarked upon a new financial venture, guaranteed to make millions for whomever wants to invest in it. "I'm just trying to pay back all the i...
After our reporters went to interview a couple of guys whose DNA proved them to be innocent of a sex crime after spending 12 years in jail, they were told that Bernie Madoff, the guy who stole millions off trusting clients, wanted to see them. "Bernie looked a lot older but he had fire in his eyes." He greeted us and then went right into a rant that while he, Bernie Madoff, was spending hard...
DEMOCRACY NOW! TRANSCRIPT This is a rush transcript. Copy may not be in its final form. AMY GOODMAN: Here today with me is Professor Hugh Hurrong who has just resigned from the University of Houston to open a brothel in Nevada. Professor, why did you resign from your position at the university? HUGH HURRONG: Well, Amy, in my role as a Professor of Finance I defended Wall Street, Big...
Flushing, New York - Due to an accounting error, the New York Mets baseball club has been mathematically eliminated from the 2014 National League playoffs. Mets principal owner Fred Wilpon took full responsibility for the arithmetic mishap. H...
Flushing, New York -- It's hard enough being a Mets fan, putting up with a Scrooge of an owner and a stooge of a general manager. Imagine playing for this talentless team. Put yourself in their bargain store spikes and consider the 10 top indicatio...
New York -- Looking to bounce back from being swept in the American League playoffs, the New York Yankees have named former cycling scammer Lance Armstrong as their new cheating coach. "We managed just six runs in that four-game series," said Yank...
New York - With their season running off the rails, the New York Mets have already started to take a look back at the year to see what positives can be salvaged from the train wreck. They found 11: 1. The plan to add performance enhancing drugs to the hotdogs at Citi Field has been successful. Mets fans are singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" much more enthusiastically. 2. The sawdust in...
HARFOLD, Vt.--Harfold resident Bertram Cooke has lost thousands of dollars in the stock market's free-fall that started last week. In all, the Dow Jones Industrial Average has lost about 7% in five business days. However, Cooke is livid that he wa...
DURHAM, NORTH CAROLINA - Bernie Madoff has taken umbrage to Rick Perry's comments that Social Security is a "Ponzi scheme". "As the architect of the largest Ponzi scheme in the world I find it extremely offensive that Perry could compare my inves...
Disgruntled Spoofer, and fanatic Met Fan Gail Farrelly says she's finally 'had enough' after it was announced the besieged club will now begin paying washed up player Bobby Bonilla $1.2M a year for 25 years as part of his deferred compensation plan.
The special federal government office tasked with combing through Osama bin Laden's confiscated computer hard drives revealed today that they revealed he died penniless after losing billions of dollars in Bernie Madoff's ponzi scheme. One video...
MADISON, Wisconsin - With one swish of the pen, Governor Scott Walker has just dashed past ponzi scheme con artist Bernie Madoff as being the most hated man in the entire United States of America. The governor of "The Cheese State" has just signed...
Things are getting increasingly desperate for NY Mets owners Fred Wilpon and Brother in law Saul Katz as federal investigators are pressing for over $300m in ill gotten gains from 'investments' from Ponzi Prince Bernie Madoff, now doing 150 years for...
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