'Sweet' Loretta Martin And Her Loner Friend Receive Suspended Sentences

Funny story written by Wire Piddle

Tuesday, 23 June 2009

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'Sweet' Loretta Martin

Sacramento, CA - A confused trangendered woman named Loretta Martin and her friend, known only to the 3rd Appellate District of the California Court of Appeal as 'Jojo', have received suspended sentences following their appeal on a conviction of growing marijuana for the purposes of trafficking.

In March of last year, 'Jojo', described in court transcripts as a 'loner' left his home in Tuscon, Arizona and settled along the coast of California looking for some, as transcripts detail, 'California grass'.

Upon reaching California, 'Jojo' became acquainted with a female individual, Lorreta Martin, whom friends described as a rather confused individual; someone who "...thought she was a woman, but she was another man."

After a brief time, the two individuals decided to embark on a business venture that consisted of growing marijuana for the purposes of making an income. They set up what is commonly referred to as a 'grow-op' or growing operation.

Their growing proved successful so they proceeded to take their business to the next level, that of providing goods to customers.

However, after their first drug deal went wrong, and Ms. Martin sustaining superficial injuries in a physical conflict with the client, Jojo and Ms. Martin decided that they would no longer pursue this venture.

This decision was arrived at partly due to the lack of support Ms. Martin's friends gave to the duo.

Court transcripts report that when Ms Martin's friends heard of the drug deal that went bad they told her they '...thought she had it coming.' and then goaded her to return home where her mother was waiting for her.

About a month later, police were apprised of the situation regarding their growing operation and pursued them with the goal of having the two face the justice system.

Indeed, the two were arrested and convicted of running a marijuana growing operation for the pursuit of income; i.e. illegally gotten gains.

It was during appeal court proceedings that the uncontestable fact regarding the status of their operation; i.e. that they had not in fact made a commercial transaction for over a month at the time of their arrests, came to light. This fact prompted the judge to exercise leniency.

In his summation, Justice Bernard Reingold, 3rd Appellate District of the California Court of Appeal stated,

"Although the court has found you both guilty as charged, considering the fact that, for one, the operation was never a 'going concern' and, two, a commercial transaction had not taken place for over a month previous to the arrests, I believe suspended sentences are warranted. However I do want to make one final admonition to both of you."

And that final admonition, as recorded in the court transcripts of the 3rd Appellate District of the California Court of Appeal, was quite simply..."Get back. Get back. Get back to where you once belonged."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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