In a surprise move today, US President Barack Obama denied he was just a token figure, that did whatever his white bosses told him to. 'No way!', he said, eating some grits and playing the banjo on his porch, 'I is genuinely ruling them United States of America, massa. Look, there's some soul food pigs flyin' past mah window!'
The USA is quite used to idiots as their heads of state, as in recent years there has been Richard 'Crook' Nixon, Jimmy 'Moron' Carter, Ronald 'Moronic Git' Reagan, and George W 'Makes all morons look smart' Bush, but some were surprised that Barack Obama is yet another idiot in the White House.
'He ain't no idiot', said Mrs Guyana Hugebelly in Washington DC, 'no, sir. If he was an idiot he'd send Americans to die in Afghanistan for opium, like Bush did. Lucky America ain't ruled by London and France - y'all.' And her friend, Elspeth Glockensteinmacalliogsneeze, added: 'The mightiest country in the world. That elects morons and tokens as leaders to make us die for Europeans. Yes sir, we sho' is mighty.'
Americans are proud of their Revolutionary history of throwing out the British tyrants by force, but the snag is that Americans have done nothing since then, and are now just used as cannon fodder by Europeans. But at least having a President that looks like a boy you want to pat on the head and tell him to go out and play now makes the USA still mighty.
The American voting age will soon be lowered to 4 years old.