Washington/DC/ Faux Decorator News - Embarrassed by Fashion Editors around the world who castigated the First Couple's fashion (non) sense at the inaugural, a furious Michelle O'bama demanded and received from TARP Czar Barney Frank, an unlimited budget to redo the White House "in her own image."
Using the same Decorator to the Stars, Michael Smith, as the disgraced and self indulgent former head of Merrill Lynch and Bank of America infamy, John Thain, the First Lady allegedly threw a tyrannical temper tantrum (TTTT) when she saw the authorized budget for only $100k to tidy up the new living quarters.
Aides said House Banking TARP Czar Frank, already under a cloud of suspicion for handing out private ear marks to selected toadies and male escorts, quickly accommodated the furious female warrior when she barged into his office in full tribal dress, stamping her foot in rhythm as she banged her thrusting spear against her buffalo hide battle shield.
Reports say that Barney was so flustered as he tried to retrieve the pants around his ankles while taking dick-tation concerning a pressing personal problem, he couldn't wait to sign the earmark guaranteeing the unlimited rehab budget, along with engineering studies demanded by the Imposing African Queen.
Representatives from the Government Accounting Office (GAO), no stranger to accounting frauds and wasteful expenditures uncovered during prior investigations, are said to be "aghast!"
Bits and pieces of the decorating exercise are starting to leak out around the White House and the following information has been confirmed as we go to press.
- $150k for 2 small area "prayer rugs"
- A $35K "4 legged commode", a clone to the one Thain installed in his office, as a foot bath for the President and First Lady before attending Prayers.
- $240k for 16 jewel inlayed visitor chairs of handcrafted Corinthian leather in the shape of Camel Saddles for entertaining Muslim Dignitaries and middle eastern Clinton advisors.
- $50K for 5 one way mirrors in keeping with the new O'Bama policy of TRANSPARENCY , one for each of the rent-a-night bedrooms made popular by the Clinton Era Library Fund Policy.
Most startling is the engineering study just commissioned to determine the cost of placing the White House foundation on a rotating axis so they can turn it to face Mecca by using one joy stick, known as "fly by wire."
When one intimidated GOP congressman asked the President how he could afford to spend taxpayer money so lavishly, O'Bama gave him a steely glance and said simply "I WON!'
